That is embarrassing & stupid & ridiculous, but I’m serious. You’re the first person I think about when I wake up, and the last person I think about when I go to sleep. The worst part is that you don’t feel the same way, at all.  Yes, I know things might escalate in the future but right now, I really do like where things stand but this shit just isn’t fair . Oh & the other day, when you told me that you didn’t want me to get to attached because one day you might not be there? Yeah, that broke me in half. I’m not easily hurt, i’ve been through enough to understand that shit happens, but oh my GOD  you mean so much to me. I CANNOT let you go, and if you do decide to “drop” me one day, I know I would feel so empty, let alone lost. You are my life, and you have no idea. I look up to you, and I’m not sure why I have grown so close to you, but I think it might be because you understand me so well. I feel as if I almost look up to you as a father figure, (my father passed away), but not in a weird way. You’re the person I have to look after me, the person to take care of me. You LISTEN to me, to what I have to say. You have me wrapped around your finger so tightly, unlike anyone ever before. I want to be around you all the time. I hate when you’re gone, and I’m SO happy when I’m with you, even though we aren’t together. I could never tell you any of this, because I know how you are, and once you feel awkward, you drop the shit out of someone. Yeah, that is why I don’t. The other night, that I mentioned before, where you said you didn’t want me to get “too” attached, we had a really intense conversation. I don’t remember why, but we went into your car, and I told you things that I would never tell you if I was sober, you agreed with some, but also told me some things that I guess I had to hear, but sure as hell didn’t want to. What I hate the most about it, is that I can’t hardly remember any of the conversation. I know that I can talk to you about anything, and that you’d listen to anything. I don’t feel like you would drop me, but with you, I honestly don’t really know.  The only reason I sorta feel like you wouldn’t drop me if I opened up to you about this, is because you might feel bad for me or something, because of my shitty little life I live. I’ve talked to you about the whole “being my friend because you feel bad for me” subject, and you’ve explained to me that you don’t just become friends with someone because they have a shit life, but that isn’t where we became friends, we became friends before you knew anything about my life. Bottom line is, I wish you felt the same way I did, but I’m so into you, and you have no fucking clue…